Trusting God through progressive vision loss, one step at a time, with the gifts He never took away
My whole working life, I’ve been good at three things: 1) finding the person or resource who can solve a problem, 2) recognizing what someone is naturally gifted at, then 3) getting out of their way so they can do what they do well. That made me a strong delegator long before I ever thought of myself as a leader. My jobs varied wildly over the years, yet somehow I flourished in every one of them. I had no idea those same strengths would carry me through the hardest season of my life.
Doctors Couldn’t Give Me a Timeline
Then came a diagnosis of progressive vision loss, and the doctors couldn’t give me a timeline for how long I’d keep my eyesight. No data existed to predict what would happen next or how fast. They told me to enjoy what I had while I had it and to start adapting to a new normal. That was easy for them to say. The ground under me wasn’t shifting so much as pulling me under like quicksand, and I struggled to breathe. Adapting one step at a time meant more than physically walking.
In the middle of my deepest uncertainty, a friend reminded me that I’m fearfully and wonderfully made and that God has not left me. She didn’t try to fix my situation or promise it would all turn out fine. She told me that whatever comes next, it isn’t a surprise to Him.
A diagnosis timeline would not have made this easier anyway. I learned long ago to be thankful that God does not reveal our future. Instead, I focused on what I could still do well, and that brought me back to my strengths.
My Strongest Gifts Never Depended on My Eyes
Those gifts never required sight. I can still find the right resource for a problem and still recognize what someone does well. These days, that looks like pointing a struggling writer toward the right editor or critique partner and then cheering from the sidelines while they grow.
Even Fiction Moves One Step at a Time
Long before I connected the dots, storytelling was working on my heart.
In Stitched on My Heart, Delphina loses everything familiar in a single season. Her husband is dead. She has no money and no manumission papers, which means by law she still belongs to someone else, and anyone could take her at any moment. She has an infant daughter and nowhere that’s truly hers.
One night, she rocks her baby and voices the fear she can’t shake. “What if His plans aren’t what I hope they are? What if Clint never gets those papers? What if I’m taken away from you, little one?”
She doesn’t get an answer to any of that. What she gets instead is the Shankel kitchen that needs scrubbing, mending that needs finishing, and a baby that needs feeding. She keeps doing the next thing in front of her, and those familiar tasks ground her. Her resolve grows out of repetition rather than certainty.
Holding her daughter close, Delphina repeats the same words like a vow.
“We must trust. We must trust, and we must pray for protection. And I will keep you safe, little one. No matter what.”
Security never arrives the way she wants. Instead, it comes as a decision, repeated daily, to keep serving the people surrounding and supporting her and trust God with the rest (Proverbs 3:5-6).
The answers weren’t clear, but for now, she would keep moving forward, one step at a time.
Moving Forward One Step at a Time Is Enough for Now
I wrote Delphina’s story, but her lesson still teaches me. A timeline never came, but I know God has ordered my days. Most mornings bring no new answers. Instead, they bring the same three things I’ve always had. There are still people to help, resources to find for them, and room to step aside so they can shine in their giftedness. For now, that’s enough to keep moving forward, one step at a time.
Maybe you’re waiting on a diagnosis or an answer to a prayer you’ve carried for years. What’s the one thing you keep doing even without an answer? Tell me in the comments below. I’d love to hear how you’re moving forward too.
If this is the season you’re in, you might also want to read find where you fit in your community.
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During the twelve years of caring for Becca following our accident, I kept going back to Scripture. God would point out a word or phrase that would give me hope or remind me He was with us. No promise for healing was ever given. Just the unwavering knowledge that He knew, He cared, He cried with us, He loved. Without God and His Word, I would have been in pieces.
You showed others Jesus at every step. Even when discouraged, tired, frustrated, in the middle of advocating, workers not showing, etc., you remained firm that God understood. That was so evident and drew others to our Savior!